Keeping the fires burning after years of a committed relationship can be challenging at times. One of my dear friends fell in love with her man in high school, and after ten years of marriage and three kids asked me for a little something to enhance and spice up their marriage. So I was inspired to do a little research, and with the help of my Witchy experts and a dash of personal experience these are the results.
First of all, how about breaking up the monotony? You may already have done this, but if not then let’s first look at it from a psychological point of view.
Sexual love is an art. It takes a little bit of ingenuity and risk to get the heart beating. Remember when the first embers of love burned white hot? You were so eager to rip off each others clothes you would make love just anywhere! So do it! Stop having sex in the bed! The bed is for sleeping. Sex is for adventure! Recondition your mind.
Also trying something new, like a new position, introducing ice or honey during oral sex, or making love upside down ( yes honey I have done it) can shake the doldrums loose and recharge you and his libido. Play with some sex toys, handcuffs, leather lingerie or even a pair of lace undies. Make your lover work to please you, give him a challenge and he will become famished for your love.
When you were young lovers you may have laughed, teased each other with the thought of your lovemaking or even made him beg. Men love a challenge and often go outside the relationship because it becomes boring and a challenge. You can pique his interest by making him untie your clothes slowly, play a sexual game of tag, or (my favorite) become very dominant and sexually aggressive, then innocent and shy and go back and forth till he loses his mind.
Also there is some magick that you can make to encourage his attention. I crafted this based on some guidance from Fiona Horne’s Magickal Sex book in chapter Sexy Spells.
Burn some sandalwood incense to create sacred space, myrrh, patchouli, hemp or rose is also great. Then take two white candles-carve your name in one and your partner’s name in another. Anoint them both with a little olive oil and then roll them in cinnamon-the olive oil is to bond them and the cinnamon is for increasing love and desire. Stand them side by side as close as possible. Close your eyes and meditate on your desired outcome for passion, love and unity. Spells work with the intention you fuel them so focus with complete attention. Place a vision in your mind of your actual coupling, as well as love and affection in a non-sexual context as well. With these visions in your mind light the (brand new) candles and say this invocation:
“Fire speed my wish to me, as is my will, with harm to none;So Mote it Be.”
Let the candles burn (in a safe place) and as they melt together, fusing the energy of the two of you together in the vision you have. Now this does not work on his free will, but it does infuse you with the self-confidence and visualization you need for a positive mindset to yield your desire. Take the authority in your life and harnass the life giving power of nature’s elements to empower you to fulfill your dreams!
Moonbeam Dreams and Rainbow Kisses!