Blessed Yule and Merry Christmas everyone!
I’m Ostara, Miss Goodwitch and I am fabulously single and riding solo for the Holidays!
I have three wonderful wee Monsters at home and one terrific teen abroad in her own digs. My children stave off the blues for me, because I focus much on making their Christmas great! I take them to special freebie events, like ice skating, Christmas tree farms and Santa Claus sightings. But as a divorcee there is something missing and has been missing from my life on Christmas day for most of twenty years….LOVE. When I look back on my wickedly insane life of lovers, boyfriends and two husbands I gasp at how sad I still remained on Christmas day. No gifts, absentee lovers for Valentine’s day, the dreaded “but your not MY mother on Mother’s day” speech (though I have four of your kids), the “oops! I got drunk and forgot to come home but I’m here now, roll over”… and on and on and on….Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, and actually all the holidays. I have had normal lovers, drug addicted lovers, alcoholic lovers…whew! Everything from cooking a huge Thanksgiving dinner only for him to be too high to eat it (every year for ten years) or his idea for Valentine’s day was an 8 ball with his homies…for me? I got a completely empty house for three days…So yeah, I spent years being sometimes happily most of the times miserably attached. In fact, I know many other men and women who have went through similar experiences.
But what about those who don’t? Even they can remember a time or two that the holidays went haywire and there were a few shouting matches! So this year, you find yourself alone for Winter Solstice and feel bummed out you don’t have some arms and legs wrapped around you to celebrate the holidays? Why do you want the heartache? But then again, let’s look at it another way. There are many people who have enjoyed happy and wonderful relationships. Those who have been blessed to kiss under mistletoe, go on a sleigh ride together, kiss before a roaring fireplace, maybe receive a beautiful engagement ring in front of family and loved ones. Everyone, no matter their personal reality, wants that, chases that has hopes for that. What then should we do with all of our dizzying hopes and absolute let down, in the midst of all the joyful festivities?
So I scanned the blogs, the web sites, the to do pages, and found…. this following noteworthy bullshit:
1. Go hang out with friends-First of all you may not have any, secondly they might all be “with” someone, and thirdly if they are alone it will be a total bitchfest!
2. Get lucky at a party-Okayyy…so go to a party miserable with low self-esteem and get laid by the first idiot that looks your way? AIDS anyone? uh..NO thanks!
3. Travel-You pay for it BITCH!
4. Volunteer- Pick up a hammer, go to a nursing home, or feed the homeless- This one actually has merit. I can do something of value that makes the world a better place. Isn’t this the true meaning of Christmas after all? But honestly, when you come home, unless you work till midnight and crash, there is still just you and all of your lonely thoughts and horny body to get in bed with….so….
5. Get a pet– SURE! That will fix thee above issues…uhmm..NOT! And you will also have shots to pay for, food (they gotta eat) and year round care. That is really like saying “Lonely? Bored? Whelp…make a BABY!” A pet and a child, unless a fish or reptile, is like an infant. So that is out too.
I would get a friggin’ FACELIFT from all that fake smiling and shit!
Okayyy….so here is my little ingenious recipe to be STUPIDLY, UNAPOLOGETICALLY AND DELIRIOUSLY HAPPILY SINGLE FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
GO on a RAMPAGE of SILLINESS! I’m the silliness Queen. So let me show you the tricks of the trade. My secret to blissful Singleness!
1. Go sit on Santa-As many Santa Claus laps as you can and tell him what you want for Christmas. Snuggle, cuddle him,squirm a bit for the “extra” feeling, and take crazy selfies with him to remember your Santa Lover! (Boy or girl)
2. Photo bomb-Jump in to peoples’ Christmas pics, even if it’s their kids, and they will prolly thank you for it and you might even make a “real” friend or too! (MUST MAKE SILLY FACES AND HOPEFULLY APPEAR TO FLY)
3. Dress up as the Grinch-Especially at the work Christmas Party, but the Mall, the Bus Stop or any freebie Christmas celebration will do. Or if you are cheap like me, wear a BAH HUMBUG sign and have a laugh or two! Make sure you give away gag gifts, like fart sounding whoopee cushions (especially to the kids in your family, your siblings will thank you)…Walmart actually has tons of fart gifts this year! (Really)
4. Listen to the Black Music Station(yes that’s what we call it, stop being P.C)-They don’t play all that damn Christmas music! And you can nod your head to Drake and Nicki Minaj or eat some red salsa and chips to Usher!
5. Join a different religion and go to their celebration- Get some of the books on their religious stuff and try to learn it! Wicca is great! There are tons of shit you will have no clue WT?F that means and it will occupy lots of your time! Really! And well…okay it’s peaceful and fun too. (Or study spaceships and aliens..either of which are REAL…oooh…) But seriously, if you are Wiccan or Catholic go to a Black Christian celebration (they are funky!), and if you are Christian dance naked around a fire or under the full moon and howl, or go to a Buddhist temple. BEE DARING! Be UNIVERSAL! DIVERSIFY!
6. Practice some “magic”– You don’t have to be a Witch to do this either. Pretend this is your “Get Ready for New Year Month” and craft tons of spells to meet the one! All you need are some herbs from the grocery store, or dollar store and a little imagination. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about manifesting your intent! Here are some spell ideas: Find your soul mate, make a poppet doll, come to me spell, banish negative feelings, anti-depression spell, and cut the chord spell and ritual to release all of your toxic shit to the galaxy so you can RECEIVE all that good shit in the New Year! In fact, this is the PURR-FECT time to do some banishing rituals (especially if the moon is waning, which is all that new Woo WOo stuff you will learn from Wicca and be like WTF?)
7. Masturbate- Yeppo I said it. Orgasm boosts the serotonin level in the brain and releases all of those “feel good” hormones…much better than chocolate! And as a single woman it keeps the blood flowing and those muscles worked out, which is important. Go to your local X-mart, or heck pick you one up at Wal-mart, they got a selection of stuff near the pharmacy, and buzz yourself to a Happy Christmas! And make sure you buy a Christmas tree so you can look at those pretty lights and think of your Santa Clause experiment, lol! For guys, there are all kinds of stuff to help you out, and I am sure you can be inventive. Just be safe and do it SOLO!
8. Meditate in the morning- before you get up with a steaming cup of hot tea and little St. John’s Wort, if your doctor will allow it, and be good to yourself. Take a few moments to really be present with your morning coffee or tea. Feel the warmth in the mug, smell the aroma, think of nothing else and just zen. Or if you are really imaginative and a bit new age like me, take your favorite crystal, place it on your third eye, and think on a spiritual master you would like to meet for the Holiday. Maybe try a Winter God or Goddess.
9. Help the homeless-This is a bit more specific than just go volunteer. This is also a bit more daring than booking an appointment to help at one of those shelters most of the homeless can’t get in. You have to get right next to their funky body’s and talk to them without a chaperone. Go down to the bus stop, or where all the homeless people hang out in public (never go to a secluded spot or put them in your car because there are those that suffer from mental imbalances or do drugs), bring some hot coffee and sandwiches and pass them out. But wait, also sit and talk with them. Find out what their life is like. You will a find a WHOLE lot to be thankful. (Maybe bring a pack of cards to play)
10. TAKE SELFIES– For all of this shit, even the masturbation, take a selfie, put it in a private collage, or facebook album, minus the masturbation photo, and celebrate your SEXY, WILD and WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS. Now tell me….when you get a bunch of likes….how the hell can you be depressed?
What I am basically saying is; it is great to do a bunch of things to alleviate boredom or get out and about. But if you are only doing activities to stave off being lonely and do not change your perspective about your life then it will just be a pile of gooey cookie dough and with no substance. Like I tell the ladies in my therapy group. All this therapy won’t mean shit, if you don’t change how you feel about yourself! You gotta do something different, travel a different direction, break out the norm if you want a different result. This shakes off some of that “woe is me” blues and opens your heart chakra to receive a new and better view point about life.
Hey, if God/Goddess worked six days creating and producing the Universe and only rested one day… then shouldn’t we construct our lives in that same pattern? So, that means for us humans, that we should spend 90% of our time creating and producing something from our own minds and 10% resting and relaxing with it. If you don’t know what to produce then you will probably be walking around feeling anxious or angry. And if you spend tons of time trying to relax and get taken care of then you will no doubt feel depressed. You work and work but produce absolutely nothing! It’s time to realize what you are here on this earth to create!
For instance, as a nurse you help heal people with medicine and take care of their wounds. They teach you all about that in school, every nurse can do that. But what is it that only YOU can give? You can give YOURSELF! So GIVE IT! If you belittle yourself, second guess yourself, hide who you are then you will become riddled with all manners of neurosis and possibly physical sickness. The cure is JOY! The last three years, I went from depression and feelings of suicide to absolute joy and contentment. How did I do that? Well, I studied Wicca, expressed my naturally born Witchy side and said to “hell” with how the church, my friends, family and others thought about it! I became true to myself. Now it took me three years to fully emerge from my cave like the Sun Goddess Amaterasu, all shiny like the Sun, but emerge I did! I came out of thee cauldron on Facebook and now my personal relationships and my “dreamed about all my life” career as a writer and psychic medium was finally born! What was holding me back? Me! I denied my true, quirky and a bit out there self for the sake of others opinions. Never again!
Ostara’s Favorite Healing Crystals for depression
- Lithium Quartz- and it is the one I most commonly suggest for those suffering from this all too common afliction. It is named for it’s content of lithium, which is commonly used in certain antidepressants. Lithium Quartz can ease negative emotions, and provide relief from stress and tension. Lithium Quartz can bring higher vibrational energies into the Heart Chakra via the Third-Eye Chakra, and can offer calming vibrations which help with insomnia
- Clear Quartz- for any type of healing, including emotional healing. Clear Quartz is known as the Master Healer of the mineral kingdom, and aura photography has shown that simply holding a Quartz Crystal can increase the size and strength of the aura. Clear Quartz is known to be easily programmed, as it tends to absorb vibrations very easily. This property also means that Quartz Crystal should be cleansed on a regular basis, and more frequently during times of frequent use. Clear Quartz is helpful for pain relief, especially for headaches, and is wonderful for body layouts, as it clears and activates the chakras.
- Rose Quartz- is quite wonderful at easing enduring emotional pain. Rose Quartz is known as the stone of love, and as such, it can infuse the chakras with the vibration of love and compassion. Sleeping with Rose Quartz in one’s hand can impart a sense of comfort by helping the heart to remember the truth of Universal Love. ( I have a blog post on Rose Quartz)
- Apache Tear- Apache Tear is a form of Black Obsidian, but is much gentler as it brings up negativity at a much slower rate, enabling it to be transmuted and released. It is a highly protective stone and is known to strengthen the aura. It is a good stone for grief and promotes forgiveness. It is also thought to relieve leg cramps. It is a useful stone for emotional loss and is recommended for any kind of bereavement
New Age stones.Wicca, or fortune telling may not be your path. It is what I was born to be and I have known that all my life. The point I am making is find your own little niche and expression. Accept that! Accept who you are! Dream that impossible dream! And dare to bee you!
Wishing you all a Magickal Yule and Mistletoe kisses!
Luv, Ostara and my Santa Lover 🙂
Disclaimer: In no way should crystals or any of this advice be substituted for medical or doctor advised therapy or prescriptions, but should be done in addition to medical precautions for best results. I am not a medical doctor. (I just play one on t.v! lol)
GO BE FREE! FEEL ALIVE! THIS IS YOUR WORLD! THIS IS YOUR LIFE! MAKE IT A GOOD ONE!
LUV YOU MY FRIENDS!