My Crazy, Real life, Experience as a Medium


I had a discussion the other day at work about what exactly is a medium. Many people watch those medium shows and think they know what a medium is, however, there is a bit more to it than seeing dead people walking around. I mean it is not like sixth sense, which is what I thought would happen to me once I gave into my gift.  I don’t see dead people walking around with half their heads missing.

Yet, I will say that the experience I had as a teenager freaked me out enough to scare me off my ability until a few years back. As a child I would see strange faces in the wood panels of my house. I swear to this day, I still see symbols, animals, even a goddess or two that way. I don’t understand why, as of yet, but it’s oddly comforting.  When my grandmother used to talk about seeing her dead husband or her father walking around, let’s just say I’d squeeze my eyes and say, “I don’t believe in ghosts…I don’t believe in ghosts…I don’t believe in ghosts…”

Then one day, at the age of seventeen, away at Ball State University, on the seventh floor of  Mysch Hall; I saw a vision that scared the pants off me!   Let me digress, up until that point, I had just begun to open myself up to the esoteric with some new cool friends I met at school.  We read each others auras, they told me mine was white, and we practiced psychometry and levitation. I couldn’t levitate but with psychometry I blew them away! Psychometry is when you hold an object belonging to someone else and tell a story based on your feelings, thoughts, or visions.

Ironically, as soon as I began to expand my intuitive mind, I sank into a deep depression.  I have learned this is part of the process, especially if you do not have any instruction in grounding, meditation or auric cleansing, which I did not.  It was around three, in the very dark wee hours of the morning. I have always been a bit afraid of the night and the energy I would feel pulsing and reaching out for me.  In my mind’s eye, I would envision vampires and all kinds of demonic forces swirling around to get me. (I’m a bit neurotic I know).

Well, I decided to leave my dorm room and run, and yes I mean run, down the corridor to the community bathroom.  I sprinted into the bathroom stall, pass the long mirrors and white sinks that lined each side of the sterile room.  The stall I chose sat across from a locked door. I chose the quickest stall, so I was not thinking about that locked door, which apparently sat across from the mysteriously unused bathtub. Suddenly, through the open slats of my door, I saw a girl with blonde hair and pale, very pale skin, floating by in a white nightgown.  Now let me break it down a little better.

This was a teenage girl about seventeen or eighteen. She was DEAD, and BLOATED as if she had drowned. (I get chills a bit just writing about her). She sort of floated forward, and that was scary enough, suddenly dozens of men in black hats with black suits were all around her.  It freaked me out! I knew I had to get out of there, and I also knew somehow they were not physical beings, but they were REAL!  I mean, how can a kid process that really?  I held my breath and dashed like the mad hatter into my room, nose-dived into my bed and began reciting the Lord’s Prayer.  I could feel their presence in my room, but as I recited the prayer, finally peace slipeed in quietly. Also, and this is the God’s honest truth, a hail storm began raging outside in the middle of the night!

I have weather magick, I now know, and under duress things like this can happen to me. The only other time I caused a hail storm was my first time working with tarot cards, and the, how do I say this, the explosion of intuition gripped me in so much terror that I flung them away! I can laugh at this stuff now, but it was very scary for me then. I was a regular Christian girl for the most part. Anyway, on a sunny day it suddenly began hail storming in Gainesville, Florida!


The next day after I met the dead girl, I asked my R.A about the locked door in the bathroom. She told me a student on this floor slit her wrists in the bathroom and was found dead the tub full of water. Months later when I was transferred from my dorm room to another one, I found on the bottom of that old mattress that was on my bed, written the words, “In Hell.” I don’t know what the girl was in to, or why she decided to take her life. But it became clear she had once slept in my very bed and the mattress was still the same. I wonder if my presence somehow realeased her that hellish night?

After that it took me many years to acknowledge the presence of Spirit.  My deceased father gave me much peace about it as he would come often, touch me sometimes, and I began to see Angels.  When I finally had my first experience with connecting a living soul with a crossed over one, it was such a  warm and loving experience, I have never worried again. Because I choose to only work with souls that have crossed over and are in the Light.

However, I will tell you the honest truth. There are souls, many souls, that are sort of caught between this world and the Light and don’t really feel worthy to go into the Light. These souls seek me and I often feel drawn to them. I don’t know in the future if Mother God will have me work with bringing them into the Light in the future or not?

Here is one of the places I have been drawn to lately.  I met the family, but it was the older, dashing black manservant that called me.  One day I may be brave enough to venture inside. He appeared to me in the top window of the photo far right. I saw a young white woman, in her twenty’s maybe, dash off the porch, and the voice of her mother calling her name, Lilly Gracy.  I never found a record of the young woman but the last name was right on the money. The house was owned by a Luther Gracy.  I dug up that the Gracy’s often had many weddings, so that girl I saw bounding off the porch, must’ve been one of the daughters. Oh, by the way, the house was originally built by African-American slaves, whom stayed as the Gracy servants later.

047 061 062

( Do you see the female figure with dark hair, staring down at me, in the picture in the middle?)

As a medium I do see crossed over souls, and sometimes channel them. But more often than naught, I am just in tune with the energy of Heaven and stay in a constant dialogue in the background of my Spirit.

But more on that later!

Hot Mocha Kisses!

Luv, Ostara



9 Comments Add yours

  1. bob says:

    blessed sister you have a truly wonderful gift yes a bit of a pain sometimes i love the gift that our gracious mother has givin us wish i had the time to expand

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Leontine says:

    For me it’s a terrifying thing. I don’t understand but I am terrified of spirits. I don’t see them, but I certainly feel them especially at night. And having a lot of nightmares recently I’ve been plagued with night terrors, with the feeling of energy ripping under my skin and touches to my body (places like my lower back, ribs and sides, and the back of my head). I’m not sure if it’s me being weird or if there’s actually someone watching me… I am very happy that you’ve become comfortable, knowledgeable, and compassionate with your gift. It’s very hard to come to terms, but if you have the gift, you were chosen for a reason, and I admire the warmth, joy, and strength that you exude. Love your blog – reading everything now! Best to you and yours!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe you are clairsentient. So you feel there presence, rather than having a vision? I am a little afraid of the dark still. And I often feel the presence of spirit EVERYWHERE. If you surround yourself with white light and call your angels to surround you when you feel this way it will protect you and give you peace. However, I have found when I connect with crossed over spirits that want to connect with their loved ones it is ususally a peaceful and loving experience. Hope that helps! ❤


      1. Leontine says:

        Yes, I feel presence. I’ve never been able to see them, but in terms of feelings I’ve definitely been able to sense. I am also an empath and am uncannily good at identifying personalities in the first seconds of introduction as well as just being close to someone; my sister is the one who can see spirits and those who have passed. I’m also afraid of the dark, but right now I’m more afraid of sleeping.

        I hope so. I’m still having a hard time with the idea of angels (never felt them) and the Goddess, but I will certainly take your advice and I thank you for your time and kindness. 🙂


      2. Hi Leontine, Hmmm…you just inspired a new blog post from moi! *laugh I think I will write about the different ways that one can feel, connect or communicate with Angels and Goddesses. Alot of times people find out that they have been entertaining them unaware. Hugs!


      3. If your that good at profiling with your empathic skills ever thought about working in the justice system? Also do you work with tarot? I think you’d be a natural! ✌️💃

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Drew says:

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear.
    Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say fantastic blog!


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