Sexual Healing: True Confessions Of My Twin Flame Passion

Hi Ya’ll!

I included one of my twin flame readings for October! You can subscribe to my youtube channel on Ostara, The Hippie Angel!

In my last blog post I wrote about identifying the difference between a twin flame and a karmic soul mate. This time I thought I would share exactly what it feels like to actually be in a relationship with your twin flame, and the burn of passion and love. Read on, because you will see this applies whether the two of you are friends, lovers, estranged or married.

What started out as a simple post about sexual chemistry has become a cathartic confession of my own unrequited relationship.  I am going to attempt to not give private details about my personal interaction with my twin flame, as I feel a need to hold some things sacred, but I will share a general discourse on those amazing and sometimes gut-wrenching emotions that I and other twin flames have reported to experiencing in my case research.

endless love (Pictures courtesy of the movie Endless Love starring Martin Hewitt and Brooke Shields produced by PolyGram_Filmed_Entertainment)   My favorite romance movie of all time!

Meeting Your Twin Flame

As previously discussed a karmic soul mate often precedes meeting your twin flame. When I met my karmic soul mate, my ex husband, the first words out my mouth was, “Damn! His body is fine!” And he was and still is a glorious specimen of male beauty.  I wanted to acquire him, conquer him and make him mine, a purely ego relationship.  However, the day I first saw my Twin Flame walking through the building at work….I swear even now…I can’t remember his exact build at that time.

I remember his head, because of the cellular blue tooth in his ear and this weird ethereal white light glowing around him. And just like that, a voice said, “That’s your husband.” Your…mind you, not my…so the voice I heard was not my own, but Holy Spirit. I shook it off…continued my karmic relationship and never considered whether I would meet him or not. But I hadn’t yet looked into his eyes. I just saw him in passing so it wasn’t an actual meeting.

One day, through forces out of my control; I found myself assigned to his building. I was blissfully pregnant by my fiancee, whom I lived with, and could have cared less about this guy. However, for some strange reason, women began disparaging me to him. Trying to make me unappealing, and I was just so confused as to why. Now I realize that other souls sense when two twin flames are about to connect. If the others have karmic ties or a sexual attraction to one of you they will try very hard to prevent or destroy the union. The day I walked into the building and he looked into my eyes there was an instant familiarity and sense of utter serenity and security. Like wrapping yourself up in your favorite blanket during the winter time and drinking hot chocolate. Yeah, that feeling.

When your eyes meet, the feeling is like a bright burst of sunlight that sparks between each other. It is like for a minute, especially if you are not prepared for it, everything else in the room will fade away and you literally only see each other. It brings a feeling of being magnetized to him/her as if they own you, body and soul, and that feels quite comfortable! No my pulse didn’t race. No I did not really look at his body and all of that. Just a deeply profound knowing, blowing in over you  like a jasmine scented summer breeze. In that moment and forever after, you know that we belong together, and that this kind of certainty only comes once in a lifetime.


Getting To Know Your Twin Flame

There is flirtation. There is deep, soul revealing conversations. There develops an awareness of sexual chemistry. However, the sexual chemistry is not the focus, the friendship is most important. There is an unspoken communication, and a surprising territorial aspect, especially for the man, that everyone around you instinctively recognizes. Even if you are only friends, to others it will feel like more. Many people, who did not know us personally, seeing my twin and I just innocently talking together thought he was my husband. We give off that energy, in fact if we flirt in front of people it has even sexually aroused them to just be around us, making them feel uncomfortable, as I have been told.

In conversations, instinctively I often know what not to say to him and how to buffer his emotions, as well as what makes him angry, even as I do it, usually out of frustration.  I can play with him and at the same time be mindful about things of his nature, that I intuitively know without being told. We make each other laugh at stuff most people would not think is funny or understand. We have weird things in common though we appear complete opposite.

We might explain ourselves to each other out of habit of doing that with others, but really do not have to do it. And when we hide our feelings about things the other one instinctively knows the truth, even if we say differently. I can’t tell you how many times he has called me on my bullshit, or moved me by his concern and care, stemming from his intuitive understanding of me. I have cried like a baby secretly, from happiness and joy of being discovered to the core of my being, without any explanation. I know he is not aware that he has done this, because as I have said, he is unawakened.

khaleesi game of thrones

I tell him how I feel, but only superficially. He hasn’t heard half of the depth of love and compassion I have for him, that I am sharing here.  How I feel his frustrations with situations in his life, he is not even aware of I know about, nor can articulate. I intuitively know his real feelings, the ones he hides from others, even himself, behind his play station, hard work, movies and stoic silence. How he had to keep his hands busy in my presence and why.

I see his shyness, his innocence behind the brave and gregarious mask. I see the skinny, big headed nerd behind the muscular hot jock.  And then there is that unspoken magnetic feeling that makes you feel like you are married already, in a sense. It was frustrating just being his friend and trying to date or talk to another man while he was in my life, without feeling like I was cheating. In the past, even my ex suspected my feelings for him the whole time.  My twin was always the pink elephant in the room of our relationship. And when my twin and I were friends again, all the men that I tried to date; I ended up telling them all about my twin problems and asking their advice! Even the celebrity I had a crush on, who was attracted to me in return; I sabotaged that by talking about my twin flame!


Sexual Chemistry

I disagree that there is no intense sexual chemistry. There is, but it plays as an undercurrent, subliminally, and it grows gradually as you begin unraveling the layers of each other and discover you are twin flames. It is not the forefront of emotion, but instead a deep bond or friendship is prevalent.   But when the two are alone and becoming aware, there is a dynamic sexual connection whether you are platonic or sexual, it does not matter. And though twins are usually outwardly polar opposites of each other we have a moral, emotional, sexual, spiritual and mental compatibility that leads to creative businesses or ministry and cataclysmic sexual union or if repressed huge fights and distance.

And whether they do have sex or not they both know it. If one of the twins are unawakened it may result in an unrequited love, such as I have experienced, with ongoing little arguments and distance. This is due to one of the twins trying to forcefully deny the connection, though the one asleep will feel inexorably compelled by their twin to somehow stay linked to them, even secretly.

To me, twin flames are two people that despite differences, distance and years maintains this undercurrent relationship, that continues to develop until they are ready to take up their destined mantles of uplifting humanity. My feelings of my twin flame are epic and we have never had more than a friendship. In fact, it has been a four year separation and a reunion of only three months since he has been in my life and it feels like three years. Normal relationships do not feel like that.

brooke shields endless love

The awakened one  will feel the karmic sexual ties, though the other one does not, or insulates him/herself against feeling it, out of fear.  The actual sexual feelings are like a kick in the gut. The chemistry is unlike any experience of sexual attraction that one can ever experience. I hear alot of people talk about the peaceful and calm feeling of security and understanding you feel with your twin. That is very true. You could spend hours in separate rooms or cities and be happy, or sit next to each other and not speak.  However, I feel that is because we have mastery over those basic desires and can hold back the sexual energy and focus on our mental or spiritual connection. I believe that intense spiritual and sexual energy transmuted is what makes us such dynamic light workers and spiritual teachers.

But… if the two of you are alone, and decide to release that sexual energy to be seen and felt by the other, you better believe it will take your actual breath from your lungs! Like whoosh!  First of all, you feel each others feelings, like a vibratory low hum all the time, because you mirror one another. So if that person is thinking about having sex with you or is horny whether it relates to you or not,even remotely, you will feel it.

All that person has to do is walk into the room, with that primal sexual energy, and everything changes in an instant. The air becomes electric, your body instantly responds, even if you have never been intimate, and it will literally freak you out the first time it happens!  That always scares me so much and is so embarrassing, especially in public, that I won’t even look at him!.

lol! In fact, I want to run screaming from the room! I am a sensual woman and an empath, so in a normal relationship, I get overwhelmed by a man’s sexual energy. All it takes is that look…. ladies you know the one!   I am incredibly shy when I feel a sexual attraction for someone. So when a man emits that energy it always unhinges me a bit. But, we are talking about my twin flame relationship. OMG! I nearly passed out at work before!

love love brooke

The End

A person can have had many relationships and been in love several times. But from experience, as well as countless research studies I have done, the level of sexual chemistry with a twin flame goes beyond attraction. It becomes a pulsing, fireball of gut wrenching, ecstasy inducing spiritual sexual energy. Yes, spiritual! Because even though you feel it physically, it is as if the parts of your body affected are connected to your soul and that soul body remembers that person in a deeply responsive feeling of complete and utter submission, love and passion.

Can you imagine if that was unrequited? And only one of you felt that? You would go a little insane right? Welcome to my world! And so now once again I find myself out in the cold. My twin is adamant about only being friends and says clearly he is not attracted to me. I did not listen so he cut our ties completely, which I guess I deserved, hard headed as I am. So I must pick up my feelings like a tattered suitcase and get packing. I don’t know why this seven year drama had to occur in my life; but I guess God/dess has a good reason. I am now trying to find the blessing in the midst of this pain and learn whatever karmic lesson I need to fulfill my destiny. Life goes on and I am releasing him on his life journey in love.

Blessed Be! If you are going through a similar experience write in. I could use the company!

Also if you would like a twin flame love reading or romance forecast reading please email me at I use PayPal for your convenience.

cow girl blog



27 Comments Add yours

  1. Shawn (queengoddiz) says:

    wow! So beautifully written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Queen Goddiz! 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  2. jiaia says:

    I so needed to read this,, my TF rejected me after I ran then tried to reunite with him… our stories are quite similar… It is thee hardest thing to face unrequited love , there are so many questions , how does one move forward? I have zero desire for another man…. I met my TF thru work and also had sabotage which lead to me running , I wish I had stayed to get all of my answers….. He used to try everything to win me but I wasn’t awakened yet ,I was also married then so , I was fighting hard to deny him now he is totally blocked and I am heartbroken….. ……

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know your pain. Why do we do it to ourselves? But it’s time we focus on what’s positive and use the power of our Spirit to stand on faith. I believe in the end true love WILL win!


    2. Kaye says:

      i can feel your connection and pain as well being unrequited. it has been 9 yrs since i met my TF and it has been also 9 yrs that i been rejected. it drove me mad to be in such a situation… i wanted answers and validation from my TF. somehow i knew he knew who i was but he was just scared to admit it. for the whole 9 yrs, i felt as though my life is cursed by my TF. til one day, i found the answers to my questions… through an account on twitter that liked one of my posts. there were specific questions i have left for my TF to answer, and this account answered all nothing more, nothing less. and deep down, i knew, that was my TF writing. perhaps he had his reasons for staying away, perhaps he was not ready, or even having other priorities… but one way or another, that connection will move him to reconnect once more. i felt utmost peace, it was like i big thorn had been pulled out of my heart and soul. i guess it is a matter of trusting the whole process of divine timing and faith…. i am ready to pursue what life has still to offer me, with or without my TF. i have already given him 9 yrs of my life waiting for him to acknowledge my existence. the minute i got my acknowledgment, i felt accomplished. He had helped me in those crucial moments of my life, he also has his own life to contend with and if it means my having to stay away from him so that he can fulfill his goals, i am fine with that too. but one thing is for sure, life is too beautiful to waste pining over an unrequited love be it TF or NOT. we just have to keep on moving forward. after all, if someone is truly meant to be ours, that person will always find its way back to our hearts. so PLEASE to those who recognize their TF’s but caught up with their own lives, PLEASE acknowledge and answer the simple questions of your TF’s, for all you know by mere recognition and setting of boundaries, you 2 would end up as best friends or the very least save your co-TF the agony of waiting for answers in vain… after all, life is meant to be simple… just be truthful.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Chase says:

    Oh God, I just sent you an email lol. I now see I could have just responded here. Well if you actually do read the email, I am in your shoes. I totally understand how you feel and the heart-wrenching agony of not only having your other half say they are not attracted to you, but that damn overwhelming pull you have to them. In my opinion, she is the one running. But, I can’t take it anymore. So, now, I am running. I have to for my sanity. And let me tell you, that pull gets worse… so much worse. Like an elastic rubber band attaching her heart to mine- stretching and stretching until. I am afraid what will happen when the tension is released and we crash into each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Chase says:

    Miss Goodwitch (Glenda?),

    I have a question. You said you are now… walking away from your TF. Is the pull any better, or does it still feel like something in your chest is being pulled out… pulled towards something? I guess what I am asking is, does it get any better?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well I have to be honest with you. I go back and forth. I thought maybe I should leave him alone and respect his feelings. But I have since found out that it’s fear and pride. I’ve decided to stand on faith and wait for him. Yes it does feel like someone sentenced me to death to think of life without him. So wither shall I go? Even into the fire I will follow him. I love him truly. And so I wait and pray and encourage him everyday. Even if he pushes me away and acts up. My love stays. Dreams I have of him and my tarot readings also help. Email me if its like a love reading. I have two options $35 and $50 Blessed Be


      1. Chase says:

        Well I wish us both peace in whichever way we can find it. But you are right, now that I think about it. Running away is out of pride and fear and anger because of rejection. But staying is agony as well. But, how can you hope to heal yourself if he is in your life because wouldn’t you keep looking towards him? And if he is with another woman, that would cut deeply. How could you heal or look within yourself if the pain of him becomes so deep. It’s like damned if you do. Damned if you don’t


  5. Reblogged this on Ostara, The Hippie Love Angel and commented:

    Twin Flame love is beautiful, painful and inspiring!


  6. I like reading you alot, because of our paralleling journeys LOL “Twin Flame love is beautiful, painful and inspiring!”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And yes it is totally!


  7. Hi Ostara,
    I want to thank you for your beautifully written account of your TF experience. As I was reading it I was thinking, is this something I posted and forgot about because it’s so similar; I met my TF at work, I was engaged at the time as well, but soon broke it off due to factors in that relationship that hadn’t been working for 2 years and because of my feelings for this man whom I didn’t even know was my TF (I started googling aspects of my feelings and things that were happening with this man and that’s how I came across all the info about TFs).
    Ever since January of this year, my TF and I have become closer and closer. We have many many views, passions, attitudes, ways of thinking and beliefs in common and we are finding more each day. What you said about your work situation amazed me because although we work in the same ‘place’ we are not in based in the same building, but have to come and go during the day. Everyone around us stares…I am an empath too and so is he, and we have felt all the energy from our co-workers; some of amazement, a kind of awe and some even malicious and bitter about our attraction to each other. He has learned to ignore this with my help. Everyone gossips at our place and it’s weird what you said about people thinking you were married, well everyone has it in their mind that we are an item and it doesn’t matter what we say to the contrary, people are like, ‘yeh yeh whatever’.
    From my perspective, (and I’m sorry from going on about this, but I really resonate with your energy, Ostara and feel I need to connect with you, hope you don’t mind?) I was not physically attracted to him at the start, he wasn’t my type, I usually go for the obvious hippy type or the alternative slightly rebellious rugged ones. He’s not like that. But as we got to know each other, mainly through our most passionate activist group, I started to see him differently because he was everything that I found attractive in a guy despite the clothes etc. It was his soul that I loved and suddenly his outer body looked so attractive to me too and I felt this overwhelming need to touch him and be physically close to him as well as intellectually. He must have picked up on this vibe because he started making little excuses when I tried to arrange to meet up. I let it be for a while but this sparked off my insecurities and vulnerabilities so I had to tell him how I felt. We discussed it in chat time and he explained some personal stuff about his past and that our connection was freaking him out and bringing up his insecurities as well. Then he said he only wanted to be friends because he couldn’t stand the thought that being intimate physically could ruin what we had. He thought of our friendship as pure and sacred.
    I was very very hurt, (that was my ego coming to the surface) but I wanted to honour our friendship. It was then that I found out about TFs, which helped me to ‘rationalise’ it all enough to be able to carry on giving to our bond despite the pain and frustration it brought. We carried on for months this way and he announced that he would be going away for 6 months travelling. That was the final straw for me in that I knew he really was my TF and this was the growth and the ‘separation’ phase that I had read about. I have been counting down the days from then and today we have ten days left before he goes.
    So here we are up to date. The finale of this now, and why I have been googling about TF today, is that at the weekend we slept together. (We’d been out dancing all night). It was the most amazing, soul inspiring, sensual experience I have ever had and it has left me buzzing with this insane heat going through all my Chakras and it feels like every cell in my body has woken up. But I can’t stop crying! He keeps messaging me to ask if I’m ok and I don’t know whether to admit how I feel or not. I will see him this week and I just don’t know how it’s going to be between us. The morning after he was a little bit concerned again as he thought he had tainted our pure friendship by becoming lovers, (I disagreed) but before we went to sleep afterwards he was smiling like a cheshire cat and saying how amazing it was and unbelievable and how he’d never ever imagined it would be like that, so i don’t know!
    I’m not unhappy (maybe a bit sad that it didn’t happen before) so I guess it has just brought out a hell of a lot of emotion in me. Could anyone explain this? Is it to do with Kundalini energies? Is he feeling it too and not admitting it? I haven’t been able to find much info about the actual act and aftermath of sexual union with TFs.
    Thank you so much for reading and please communicate with me. We all need somewhere to talk as ‘normal’ people just don’t get this at all. Love and Light! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate you sharing your story.. such an articulate example of the ups and downs of twin flame romance. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. My TF is leaving to do some travelling, so our separation is starting. I am heartbroken, but as he said last night, we both have our own paths to travel and we’ll always travel in each other’s light. I hope we re-unite again. ❤


  8. Scott says:

    Hi Ostara,

    Thank you for your article;it did hit very close to home.

    I met my TF when I was 13 yrs old and she was twelve. I fell in love with her instantly, and she was my first girlfriend. unfortunately we lived 20+ miles way from each other and our parents were not very supportive. We actually went out on a date when i was 20, and that night she suddenly turned around and kissed me with a kiss like I had never had or have had since, It was as if there was a weight or energy force behind it, We saw each other a couple of times more and we talked on the phone a lot for about 5 weeks. I was in heaven.

    Suddenly things changed, and she became distant. I gave her some time and space, but after a few months of missing her I called her. She was negative and cold toward me, and she hung upon me. Than was 35 years ago,and I have not had and 3D contact with her since.

    I have had no love life since then. I married a friend, and she makes a good companion, but she is not have TF or soulmate type energy. ithought it would be better than nothing. WRONG! It’s worse that nothing.

    20 months age Archangel Michael communicated to me though my pendulum that this person (spelled out her name) want ed to come back into my life and would be returning tome. My immediate reaction “Bull shi*” . Then a maracle happened. 15 min later, a voice came into my head and said “It’snot BS! She is not mad at you. You do not understand why she is silent” 24 hours later I started to like and believe the idea of her a reunion with her.

    Then the second maracle happened. I have been communicating with my TF telepathically. We have been dating etherically foe about a year. To help my telepathy, I began writing down every detail of each time I saw my TF physically. Then I stopped for a while. Suddenly , out of the blue, my friend Patty (a medium) said her guides were insisting that I restart writing whatever it was that I was writing.

    Maricle 3: I have never had a pic of my TF, but I have looked for one for years. I have on seen her since 1981. Suddenly, on a FB search, my TF’s pic appeared. When I looked into her eyes in the pic, the energy between us instantly reactivated.

    Waiting for my twin is like being a kid who is waiing for Christmas to get here . . . a for 35 years.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is so beautiful. But be mindful that Spirit can’t reunite you if it destroys another. Your wife needs to know all of this and be given a choice.


  9. KATT MORGAN says:


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes when I met my twin flame the first thing I felt when I looked into his eyes is that I belonged to him. I’d never felt that before. It is intense. We are still together btw. And it’s been an interesting ride.


  10. Francisca says:

    You should all contact: < They can help. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I am lucky to experience my twin flame on the other side in this lifetime, so I don’t have any blockages with our relationship. It is still new to me. It is amazing how sexually attracted I am to him, even in spirit. I am discovering this aspect of our relationship and am just blown away by the passion.


  12. PJ says:

    You’re not alone in this!! Unrequited love sucks but from your twin makes you question everything. So painful. I’m still learning to move past it and feel I’ve reached a place of acceptance of whatever is. Currently in a friendship mode but I know that can disappear again at any time. The constant back and forth of I love you to I don’t feel that way about you to I love someone else and not you and then back to loving you again!! The love on my side is unconditional and will always be there. I don’t care at this point to ever be with anyone else because it will not be the same soul level of love so I will just love myself!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Matt Catlett says:

    Reading this brought me to tears as well as got me a very aroused thinking about my twin flame. Right before reading this I was going to confess to her by telling her that I love her, so incredibly much. I don’t think I’m going to do that because that’s not her burden to bear. My happiness id my responsibility. She’s also made it clear that we are to remain as friends. She does care for me, I can see it in her eyes, but she has karma to resolve and she would like me to be happy, even if that mean spending the rest of my life with someone else. We just have different paths to walk, but they will conjoin for us to reunite, mabye not in this life but in another to come. I will always and forever love her. I am so blessed to have experienced knowing her, even for a short time. If I ever need to see her I can just look at a mirror and stair into my eyes knowing she on the other side of them as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Lisa says:

    I found my twin flame over a year ago and I knew exactly who he was and what we meant to each other. There is a huge age difference between us but he still hasn’t ” awakened” to the fact that we are twin flames, even though he lists off every sign. It pains me to say but I don’t think that we weren’t meant to be together in this life. But everything from time stopping, to both of us knowing what the other is feeling and sometimes thinking and oh yes that sexual energy. I can’t wait until the next life, maybe everything will line up for us. I’ve been in love before but with him nothing compares. We sync on ever level.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Infinite twinflame love says:

    I am in a similar situation. My twin is adamant that he wants to be friends only. Yet he sends me sexually charged memes often. He’s the king of mixed signals. It’s heart wrenching to not be sexually desired by my twin whom I am ridiculously attracted to sexually. It hurts at the very core. I fee his love and know he loves me. He’s just not ready for this connection. I’m so very tired. In fact I’m exhausted. I feel like giving up. My heart literally aches all of the time. The heart pull is so strong it exhausts me. My life is such a mess. I want to just give up. Does he feel the same things?


    1. What I’ve learned since I wrote this is that he may not be your twin. A karmic soulmate often mirrors this. Your attraction is intensely erotic, but the relationship is not spiritually edifying. This rejection is a gift to help shift you higher so that when you are ready you can finally meet your true twin flame. But buck up buttercup! You’re just one step away! Now get to work on your spiritual destiny and TF will arrive!!!


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