Finding Your Life Purpose: I DIDN’T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH

rainbow and stars

I came to this blog post in tears! I was reminded today by a precious single mother, named Samantha, who has been struggling with drug addiction and relationship problems, that I didn’t know my own strength. We connected on Facebook and I began encouraging her in faith. I have a background in substance abuse counseling and just felt drawn to her. However, as I opened my heart up to help her I realized….OH MY GOD… selfish I have been with the anointing God/dess has placed on my life!

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown Baby Images, 1993

I have been sidetracked, moping about wanting love in my life and my twin flame and all of that crap. When there are people in this world that need a real word of encouragement from me! WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING? I sat here fussing myself out just now! I am not perfect, and even a little rough around the edges, but God has truly given me a responsibility to uplift the world. Every person She brings to me is to be my focus. Lord, I am truly sorry for being so selfish.

I vow from this moment on, I will never allow a MAN to make me forget my important mission in this life! I don’t care if I have to give up every pleasure in this world! If I can be in position to help even one soul realize how strong, how powerful and how loved they are to God, that is all that matters!  Please excuse my bluntness….but FORGET these fake finger nails! FORGET these fake eyelashes! FORGET this beautiful hairstyle! FORGET my blog stats! I am here to share MY SOUL! I will NEVER again turn away from the suffering of others for my own physical gratifications!


I watched a Whitney Houston video a few moments ago and have it now on repeat even as I write this blog. As she sang “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” I thought about how she had finally got it, maximized her own potential then turned around and failed to her death. And not only did she die, but her death caused her own “miracle” child to give up and follow her mother’s deadly example, completely aborting her destiny! It was like a slap in my face from Goddess! How freaking DARE I allow myself to reach a peak of wisdom and self-actualization and sink back down into the abysmal pathos of being a pathetic and inert victim!!!

OH HELL NO!!! Not I! No way! No how!

“My mama said I was not built to break!”  The women in my life said I was not built to break! My spiritual teachers said I was not built to break! Your love said I was not built to break!  But most importantly YOU were not meant to BREAK!!!


I am sure Whitney Houston, the moment before her accidental overdose and death, thought “I have finally made it. Why not give myself a little reward, be a little selfish and indulge?”

That little selfish indulgence cost her, her life and the life of her child and legacy. All that she was, in that one moment of self celebration, cost her EVERYTHING! I am sorry but I love my children far too much to sit on my ass and be so selfish! I love you all too much to commiserate about not having this man or that one and people are destroying their lives from drugs, suicide, child abuse, and complete ignorance to the love of God and Goddess that shines deep from within themselves!!!

Please forgive me. I swear I will give up every comfort and selfish desire in my life for you! I love you and I am determined to never look back again! That is why I write my blog! That is why I am an angel tarot reader and psychic! That is why I am writing my book for Baby Mama’s and women all over the world!  I am moving forward completely surrendered to the love of Christ and God and Goddess in my life! We are magickal creators and let Whitney be our cautionary tale. Let her loss and defeat be a shining beacon to encourage us to never fall back but to bravely move forward fearlessly into our destiny!


I want to thank the following people: Nancy Warner, Dawn Dobson, Jennifer Taylor Williams, Mardi Madison Taylor, LaShawn Coutee, Leslie Hale-Ford, Stella Silverwater, Valerie Barr, Blake Monroe, Leah Coon, Lavender Lily, Valerie Love, Sophiel Aurora, Samantha Swilley, M.B, Bonnie Saul, Bonita Medlin, Bernadette Carter-King, Doreen Virtue, Iyanla Vanzant, Paula White, Joel Osteen, Pastors Horace and Luretha Mingo, Pastors Kenneth and Tabatha Claytor, Radleigh Valentine, and Valerie Ames. Thank you for your truthfulness, encouragement, compassion and understanding. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

But most importantly I want to thank all of you! For everyday you teach me to release my fears, follow my dreams, look within and that life is not about what you can receive but every inch of how much you can give! Let us win the race! Whoever can give the most love to the world is the winner! We need to have a LOVE OLYMPICS!!


You will not crumble! You may stumble but you won’t break unless you choose to! God did not deliver me from abusive and drug addicted men, rape, homelessness, mental depression, divorce, and single motherhood for 20 years for me to stand here and whine! I AM A WINNER! I AM STRONG ENOUGH FOR ALL OF YOU TO STAND ON MY BACK! I promise I may bend….but honeychile…I will NEVER break!  Ya ,heard me?

I love you! I love you! I love you! I will gladly be your traffic sign…pointing you forward, carrying you across the river, to follow your North Star to freedom!

Since I have overcome, here is your tool. It is named the Power of I AM! At times life can feel exactly like those serpents squeezing you tight! Children need tending, bills need paying, and your man needs loving. When your car breaks down, a loved one gets sick or maybe even the roof has a leak it can throw a monkey wrench in our carefully laid budget.

The Power of I AM creates the change in your life that you seek. I have been homeless. I have stood in bread lines, clothing lines and have gone door to door begging my neighbors for a ride to take my child to the doctor. I have struggled and cried and cussed and wanted to just end my life from the pain of carrying it all on my back for eighteen long years.  There have been times I did not eat so my children could eat. I have licked their bowls, after they ate their food, as my supper.  And I did not do this in front of them because I did not want them to know how poor we were.

Many great life coaches teach about the secret law of abundance and the attitude of Gratitude and Appreciation.  I put it to practice and it worked! I am not an expert, but I am a regular woman just like you. No special magic here but faith! I believe in the power of God and the bible is chock full of the law of attraction. You know nothing is new under the sun, only repackaged differently. Here is your lesson plan! (Excerpt from my book From Slave Girl to Glorious Queen…all rights reserved)

Goddess Shekinah’s Lessons of Power

For this lesson all one must exercise is the power of faith.

  1. Claim the Goddess as your divine heavenly mother and know you are created in her image.
  2. Spend five minutes, or more if you like, each day, in nature and quiet your mind.
  3. Take this time to marvel at the motherly creative force of Goddess. Her fertile soil, the birds flying by and the bees flitting from flower to flower. Watch the butterfly’s dance and know that the power of Goddess pulses within every living thing.

Power affirmation

I am made of this energy. I create as She creates.

Brightest Blessings!

Love, Ostara

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. The Phoenix says:

    I’m going through a “wake Up Call” of my own. Spirit Shakes Who Spirit Calls.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Phoenix,
      Thank you for sharing your own personal experience. It is an amazing time for getting our spiritual and creative act on the road! Especially with the full moon in Pisces. Check out my new blog post Yemaya: Goddess of the Pisces Super Moon and let me know if you find the tips useful! Blessings!


  2. Reblogged this on Ostara, The Hippie Love Angel and commented:

    Hi! I have added tolls of transformation and a fabulous lesson guide to harness your own hidden power as excerpted from my soon to be released book From Slave Girl To Glorious Queen!


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