My Kuan Yin Journey To Fat, Flawed and Fierce!


I hope your Spring Break was peaceful! Mine was a bit hectic. Lots of lessons on compassion, just as I requested from my last visit with Kuan Yin.

I took my mom today to my sacred space to meditate at the Anan Temple in Gainesville, Florida. It is really just a hop, skip and a jump away from my home. The beautifully scalloped rooftop sits gracefully atop marble floors and pristine walls of gleaming yellow. My mom and I first traveled out into the deep of the woods, and stood in awe at the enormous white alabaster statue of Buddha.


He sits upon a great stage altar of blue carpet and has a table set up with incense for prayer. I gave myself over to the serenity of all of nature surrounding me. I reveled in the tall majestic trees and the soft flutter of butterflies all around us. After a few moments of tranquility we felt the call of Kuan Yin. My mother is a devoted Christian and somewhat conservative in her stance of the divine being strictly a male figure. So I was very excited to see her reaction upon meeting Kuan Yin!

mom and kuan yin

It was such a peaceful and serene meeting as she gazed at the graceful goddess. I asked her, “Mom, what do you think about her?” She said,” I think she is beautiful.” I said, “Does it feel strange or weird?” She said, “Well, I did first remember the scripture that says Do Not Have Any Idols Before Me. But I am aware there are many faiths and paths to God in the world. I can appreciate the beauty and serenity of their faith without compromising my own.” My mom is nearly seventy years old and a Christian all her life. It is my prayer that people all over the world can reflect the same love and acceptance for other people’s path as my mom does on her own.

My mom ambled carefully on the beautiful green landscape to find a bench. Her feet and joints swell since she had knee replacement surgery several months back. It is amazing how strong she has become in body and spirit since her surgery. She is doing so well now. I enjoyed the solitude of my sacred meditation with Kuan Yin.

kuan yin and apples

This time apples were brought as an offering to the goddess. I really connected with her aspect of plenty and bearing abundance. I felt the desire to meditate for healing and harmony in all of my relationships. I asked her to pour out compassion upon me and those that I love. I visualized us as lotuses in a pool at her feet as she poured her healing waters upon us. Soon Kuan Yin appeared to me and she guided me through a sacred meditation.

She placed me in front of a mirror and asked me to look within my reflection into my shadow self. I saw a roaring lion enraged and she guided me to place my hand upon the wild beast and lovingly soothe and tame her. As I did so my sexual hunger and desire also rose up in form of a wild beast and again I had to coax her to stillness. Kuan Yin taught me that it is not my job to reach out and calm another person’s beast, but that they must learn to gentle themselves. She taught me that by focusing on myself and composing myself, others would watch and emulate from me.

I learned to also see that whether someone is on earth or in heaven, near or far, it is in the missing of them that you hold the very reality of their existence. If they never existed you could not miss them. So this missing piece is still connected. You feel the loss because their energy is still part of the whole but merely in another form.  She also empowered me to release my fears of my body image, love and embrace my self. I am fat, and that does not mean I must feel less beautiful merely because I am not the picture of societies standard of feminine perfection. She left me with a lotus missing one petal. I will carry this imperfect lotus in my spirit and love her with compassion. For I realized that this imperfect lotus is us all. No one is perfect, we all have flaws. One persons flaws is not bigger than the other persons.

I have released my fear. I am beautiful. I am fierce. And I am flawed…thank Goddess!

lotus boat


2 Comments Add yours

  1. nimslake says:

    Beautiful! Inside and out, what a lovely meditation. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you dear! Brightest blessings!

      Liked by 1 person

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